


Dangerous

by kkscatnip (autohaptic)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Asexual Character, Childhood Trauma, Community: kink_bingo, Dragons, Kissing, M/M, Sensation Play, Shapeshifting, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:49:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autohaptic/pseuds/kkscatnip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Panos loved sex in a way that Gil didn't (couldn't, if he was going to be honest) despite the fact that it was dangerous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous

If Gil had to blame someone, he'd blame the fox shifter. She hadn't meant it badly, but the way she'd told him that he had to belong to _someone_ just--it wasn't right. Panos had been right there, reassuring Gil and getting him the fuck out of dodge, but as soon as they were home Gil still curled up in a ball on their ratty sofa--the only furniture in the whole apartment--and retreated into his head. 

Panos did his usual thing, systematically going through the two-bedroom apartment and checking every room. It might be dilapidated, but it was home. The sound of doors opening and closing and Panos' whispered "clear" was comforting in a way nothing else was. It was something that could only remind Gil of life after they'd escaped the facility; it had never happened Before. He'd never been safe, Before.

By the time Panos returned to the living room Gil had managed to rest his chin on his knees instead of hiding his face between them. Tiny steps were the only way things got better. 

"You're manifesting," Panos said, his voice soft and affectionate as he waved his hand over Gil's head carefully. He must mean the stag horns that came out more often than Gil liked. If they weren't solid enough to stop Panos' hand, they were just a shimmering illusion, which meant Gil wasn't actually in danger of shifting. 

Gil cupped one hand around Panos' elbow, sliding his fingers up and bringing Panos' hand down so he could kiss the center of Panos' palm. _It'll be fine,_ Gil sent, and smiled. 

Panos tilted his head, slow smile spreading over his lips. "It just might, now that you mention it." His hand cupped Gil's knee for a moment, then slid to the right, his fingers suddenly warm against the bare flesh of Gil's outer thighs. His muddy green eyes were steady, auburn brows raised in question. 

Heart skipping beats, Gil nodded. It had been a while, long enough that he didn't mind obliging Panos' desires. 

"It's been too long," Panos said after the momentary kiss, his voice dropped down to a husky, needy growl. 

Gil only nodded, sitting back against the couch so that Panos could crawl into his lap. Panos did, but only after shucking off his jeans and boxers. His cock was half-hard already, and Gil knew it would feel velvet to the touch, no different than any other cock. 

The bit with the genitals--Gil didn't hate it, but it wasn't his favorite part. Kissing, though... Gil could get lost in the easy texture of it, the warmth, the slide, and always know it was Panos, _always_ , though he didn't like it so much when Panos got urgent.

 _Slow down_ , Gil sent, squeezing Panos' shoulder with one hand. _You're going to end up shifting at this rate._ Without any effort at all, Gil felt Panos' heartbeat, felt Panos' breaths, as if they were his own. They both knew the dangers of getting excited, but Gil always felt so bad when he pointed it out; Panos loved sex in a way that Gil didn't (couldn't, if he was going to be honest) despite the fact that it was dangerous. 

Panos broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Gil's. "Sorry," he whispered. Panted, really, the word washing over Gil's face like benediction. 

It was okay to make Panos slow down, okay to not do anything at all. Gil closed his eyes, sliding his hands down Panos' sides through the ragged but still skintight t-shirt that was Panos' usual wardrobe. _Sorry,_ Gil echoed, bringing his hands up to cup Panos' face, smoothing fingers over skin as familiar to him as his own. 

If he wanted he could slip into Panos' mind and feel the sensations as Panos did. Gil took a few deep breaths and let go of complete awareness of his own senses, instead letting what Panos felt occupy his mind. This was the safest way, and the best for both of them, even though Panos always said it felt so damned odd. 

Being inside of Panos' mind never felt odd to Gil, but he was a special case. He sank as deeply into Panos' senses as he could without letting go of himself, because he needed to keep touching. Rhythmic, repetitive touches were easiest, brushing his fingers back and forth, feeling the twin sensations of Panos' sparse two-day stubble and warm fingers brushing over his cheeks, his chin, his neck. 

Panos loved being petted like this. Gil had gotten good at it, and was pleased to feel the way that Panos gave himself over to the feelings. If he worried about shifting, it would happen for sure. But if he focused on his body, his human body, and didn't think about his animal form...

Gil pressed his lips against Panos' cheek, right under his eye, on one side of his face and then the other, as his hands slid down, cupping Panos' broad shoulders and squeezing the wiry muscle there. Their foreheads rested against one another again as Gil moved his fingers down, pressing at first, then lifting and rubbing the backs of his hands down Panos' arms instead. 

The next time Gil lifted his hands, Panos smoothly pulled off his shirt. He knew it would happen next; Gil could feel him becoming more aware of Gil's unconscious mind the same way Gil became more aware of Panos', the farther they moved from mindful movement. 

It had been to comfort Gil, the very first time they'd done this. Because Panos had kissed Gil, and Gil had freaked out a bit. To be completely fair to Panos, all sorts of things that weren't frightening at all freaked Gil right out, like the sound of old-fashioned keyboard typing and the sight of needles and anything that reminded him of bed checks.

So Gil had freaked and Panos was smart: he knew that sensations were the most thorough distraction in the world for Gil. So he touched, at first, on the face, and urged Gil to touch him in return. Gil could hear Panos' half-uncertain instructions in his memory: 'Come on inside my head while you touch me, okay? I want you to know how nice it feels.' 

Gil had been hesitant about it, realistic that it probably wasn't going to work, but it had. For some reason, it just did. It worked then, and it worked now to calm both of them down. By the time Gil's hands found Panos' nipples, Panos' breathing was almost even again. 

But the touch of Gil's fingernails, that gentle scrape, over Panos' nipples made fireworks happen in Panos' mind. Gil bit his lip while Panos moaned, and wished so much, so _much_ , that it felt like this for him.

It didn't, so it was silly and unproductive to wish, but he wished anyway, leaning his face against Panos' neck as he did the things Panos liked. Palming his nipples, pinching lightly, pinching harder. Rubbing more, pressing down hard, hard, harder. 

When Panos' heart rate began to climb again, Gil gently directed Panos' mind away from thoughts about shifting and moved his hands lower, ghosting down Panos' stomach, then dragging his fingernails back up. 

Panos gasped, shuddering in Gil's lap, his skin going hard with scales for a moment; Panos shifted even without it being anywhere in his mind, but for a flash and back again.

Gil caught one of Panos' hands and brought it to Panos' cock, not needing to look to know that that part was shifting too. Whenever Panos was dragon for a moment, it got--well, it was good that Gil didn't have his mouth around it. 

_Think about me_ , Gil reminded Panos, returning to groping Panos' chest as Panos did what he needed to do to get himself off. 

"Ahh, ahh, ahh," Panos gasped, not doing a good job of following orders. By the third _ahh_ , he was mostly dragon, light but with those wings and those claws and holy hell, that cock. Gil kept his eyes firmly shut, only feeling those things through Panos, feeling him keep his balance with his tail and wings as his focus narrowed down to Gil's hands on his chest and his own hand on his cock.

Panos came like that, balanced, and as soon as he realized what he was, he thrashed off of Gil's lap and roared helplessly. 

_Calm_ , Gil sent, firm, unyielding. He couldn't plead with Panos when he was in this form, not without risking being killed. It wasn't as easy to slide around inside Panos' head in this form, but Gil was already there, so all he had to do was push calm thoughts, calm feelings, until Panos' mind rolled over and accepted that he was going to be calm. Panos couldn't really be calm, but hyperventilating was better than roaring his rage at the world, at this form. 

There was one way to go, though. _Sleep_.

All at once, Panos collapsed backward, going down like a sack of potatoes. Gil let him fall on the floor--his dragon form healed nearly instantaneously; there had to be _some_ use for it--and leaned back against the couch. 

There was semen on him. Fuck. 

Not pulling out of Panos' mind at all, Gil headed for the bedroom, for the shower, and spent the time that Panos was out cold scrubbing himself raw. Semen was nasty, nasty stuff. Full of diseases and choking and coughing against the bitter taste at the back of his mouth. 

Panos was in human form when Gil found his way back over to the couch, but he was still asleep, so Gil pulled out his yarn and kept knitting the socks he'd started last week. He was leaning a new stitch, and the socks were turning out very well indeed. Only a little lop-sided, and the yarn color was putrid green, but Gil wasn't going to complain. Knitting kept him deft, and made sure his thoughts didn't stray into contemplation of things better left out of sight and out of mind.


End file.
